Jane 
My reason for this blog post:
As I approach 2026, I have a strong desire to take the lessons learnt from this year along with me. To forget the difficulties which I have had would be counter productive to my personal growth. There is a place for positivism and there isn’t, sometimes. Warts and all make a person. This is my midlife lesson.
What happened to me in 2025:
This year nearly broke me. It wasn’t all violets and roses, by any means. I think that my greatest achievement for the year, 2025, was not having a full on breakdown.
I experienced grief like nothing before when my beloved cat of 15 years, Kitt, died quite suddenly on 11 April. She was my anchor, my lockdown companion and my heart. We slept together and she followed me around everywhere. We relied on each other. I took her to the vet on 7 April expecting to be told that she needed some tests to determined what was causing her digestive problems. Not in my wildest dream did I expect to be told that she was dying. I have since read that animals deteriorate very quickly and can look fine from one day to dying the next.
While going through that, builders were pulling my home apart to repair structural issues. I was living in a mess of dust and belongings being strewn all over my home. There were dust sheets, dust and ladders everywhere. Noise, dust, uncertainty, and a heart trying to keep going.
How I survived:
I didn’t survive it by being positive.
I survived it by being present.
By letting days be heavy.
By doing the next small thing instead of the whole plan. I didn’t strategise and plan like I normally do.
I kept routines loose but sacred. I cried for 86 days straight after Kitt died. I didn’t hold my grief back.
I rested when my body said ‘no’, I didn’t rush the healing or explain it away to anyone. I validated myself the whole way through like I have never done before.
Two weeks after Kitt died, my daughter found a new cat for me. HIs name is Milka and his owner had died. Two grieving beings were united to begin a new phase of life together. He is adorable and is helping my heart heal.
Midlife teaches you this:
You don’t survive hard years by becoming stronger. You survive by becoming truer and being more honest about what hurts. It pays to be more selective about what matters.If this year tested you too, you’re not behind. You’re becoming a newer person through transforming yourself by absorbing all your experiences.
Happy New Year and may 2026 bring you your heart’s desires.
