Jane 
When I was diagnosed with diabetes, my first reaction wasn’t just concern for my health—it was shame. The diagnosis came as a bolt out of the blue. I had been feeling dizzy and, given my age and race, the GP did the usual tests and, just like that. I was a diabetic.
I wish I could say I took the news with strength and acceptance, but the truth is, I felt embarrassed. Society has a way of making diabetes feel like a personal failure, especially for women in midlife. The whispers of “You should have taken better care of yourself” and the assumption that it’s all about overeating bad foods and laziness weighed on me. I blamed myself too.
The stigma around diabetes is frustrating because it simplifies a complex condition into a morality tale. And for midlife women, who already carry the weight of so many expectations, it can feel like yet another area where we’re being judged. I have kept my diagnosis a secret till now for fear of being constantly judged every time I eat and drink in the company of friends.
I don’t want to hear unsolicited advice about diets, or see the look of pity on people’s faces. And, honestly, I don’t want to be labeled. “Diabetic” even though I am one. In some ways it feels like another identity forced upon me, much like “ageing woman”. Perhaps I don’t want to be reminded all the time of the disease that I carry with me 24/7.
But here’s the thing—shame and silence don’t help. The more I research, the more I realize that diabetes isn’t just about lifestyle choices; genetics, race, hormones, stress, and even menopause can play a role.
So, I have made a decision. Instead of letting stigma define my journey, I am taking control of my narrative. I am learning what works for me, how to manage my blood sugar without guilt, and how to remind myself that I am more than a diagnosis.
To any woman struggling with the same feelings: you are not alone. Diabetes does not define you, and it certainly doesn’t mean you’ve failed. We are more than the labels society gives us. We are strong, resilient, and still in charge of our own stories. There is much we can do to keep our ‘condition under control’. I hate that phrase but nothing better describes the self-managed process of being diabetic.
At the end of the day, you (and I) are in charge of what we eat, drink and how we live.
