I grew up believing that taking care of everybody else was what I was supposed to do. It took me a long time to understand that I had a life of my own and that I didn’t have to fix it for everybody else, and that it was okay for me to receive care…

‘Sharon Stone, Hollywood Superstar speaking about her recovery

That is a very powerful quote isn’t it? Sharon is in her 60s, a baby boomer, and probably, like me and many others, was brought up to be a good girl who gave unto others selflessly. ‘Be a good girl’, was a common refrain uttered to little girls. A mantra, almost. Repeated till it sank deep into our psyche.

It almost sounds like a religious commandment.

Midlife can be a turbulent time. As we navigate the challenges of career, family, and personal growth, it’s easy to lose sight of one essential aspect of life: taking care of ourselves. Many of us fall into the trap of thinking that j is selfish, especially when we have responsibilities piling up.

It’s crucial to debunk this myth. In fact, self-care becomes even more vital as we reach middle age. It isn’t selfish to look after yourself, especially in midlife. Prioritizing self-care can have profound positive effects on your overall well-being.

The Midlife Balancing Act

Midlife is often associated with increased responsibilities. You may be juggling a demanding career, caring for aging parents, supporting your children through their own life transitions, and dealing with various financial and health-related concerns. It’s no wonder that many individuals feel overwhelmed and stretched thin during this period.

However, it’s crucial to recognize that neglecting self-care in the midst of these responsibilities can have detrimental consequences. When you consistently put others’ needs ahead of your own, you risk burnout, exhaustion, and even resentment. This not only harms your mental and physical health but also your relationships and overall quality of life.

The Myth of Selfishness

One common misconception is that taking time for yourself is selfish, especially when others rely on you. However, this belief is rooted in a flawed understanding of self-care. Self-care is not about neglecting your responsibilities or disregarding others’ needs; it’s about ensuring that you have the physical, mental, and emotional resources to fulfill those responsibilities effectively.

When you invest in self-care, you’re essentially refilling your own cup. This allows you to show up as your best self in your various roles—whether that’s as a parent, spouse, friend, or employee. Moreover, by modeling healthy self-care habits, you teach those around you the importance of looking after their well-being too.

The Benefits of Self-Care in Midlife

  1. Physical Health: Prioritizing self-care can significantly impact your physical health. Regular exercise, a balanced diet, and adequate sleep are fundamental aspects of self-care that can help you maintain your vitality as you age.
  2. Mental Well-being: Midlife often brings with it increased stress and anxiety. Self-care practices like mindfulness meditation, journaling, or seeking therapy can be invaluable tools for managing these challenges and maintaining your mental health.
  3. Relationships: When you practice self-care, you’re better equipped to nurture your relationships. Taking time for yourself can reduce irritability and increase your capacity for empathy and understanding.
  4. Career Success: Self-care can enhance your career as well. A well-rested and mentally balanced individual is more productive, creative, and adaptable, which can lead to greater success and satisfaction in your work.
  5. Personal Fulfillment: Finally, self-care is essential for personal growth and fulfillment. Pursuing hobbies, interests, and passions outside of your responsibilities can bring a sense of purpose and joy to your life.

Practical Self-Care Tips for Midlife

  1. Prioritize Sleep: Ensure you’re getting enough restorative sleep each night to support your physical and mental health.
  2. Set Boundaries: Learn to say no when necessary and establish healthy boundaries to protect your time and energy.
  3. Practice Mindfulness: Incorporate mindfulness techniques into your daily routine to reduce stress and increase self-awareness.
  4. Seek Support: Don’t hesitate to seek professional help or lean on friends and family when you need support or guidance.
  5. Pursue Interests: Make time for hobbies and activities that bring you joy and fulfillment, even if they don’t directly benefit others.
  6. Find Ways To Relax: A massage, a makeup lesson, Yoga or meeting friends for a drink.


In midlife, it’s not selfish to look after yourself—it’s necessary. Prioritizing self-care allows you to meet your responsibilities with greater resilience and authenticity, ultimately benefiting both yourself and those around you. Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup, so make self-care a non-negotiable part of your journey through midlife. It’s a valuable investment in your well-being and the well-being of those you care about. Something that I am learning to do myself.