Avoidance is a common activity when one is suffering from the midlife crisis. You avoid people and prefer to isolate. According to this article, withdrawing from usual routines or relationships is a symptom of the midlife crisis.
To this I would add that withdrawing from looking at yourself in the mirror, a normal routine as part of getting dressed for the day or to go out, is an act of avoidance too.
At the height of my midlife crisis, I found it hard to look at myself in the mirror. Seeing my reflection set me off on a spiral of self-blame and regret. I blamed myself for a number of past failures, even those that were beyond my control. A mirror in a shop would send me scurrying past it with my head down. When I combed my hair in the mornings, I would focus my eyes on the top of my head without looking at the rest of me in the mirror.
By avoiding myself, I was able to bury my regrets and shame.
If you are unkind, critical and judgmental towards yourself, you will behave and act in ways that are unkind to yourself.
The fear of looking into a mirror and hating your reflection – Counsellor Who Cares
Gradually over time I learnt about self-care and self-forgiveness. Being able to look at my mirror self was a sign of healing and moving on. My mirror moments became a cherished time for self-reflection. These often occurred while attending to my beauty routine.
While I am not a trained counsellor, I write this blog post to let you know that you are not alone if you too are avoiding looking at yourself. Remind yourself of the saying that ‘this too will pass’. There will come a day when you are able to celebrate yourself. There is hope.
But I do urge you to seek medical help if you feel unable to cope on your own. I have previously blogged about how I sought a confidence coach to help me through a difficult phase.
