Does anyone think about the big stuff?

While laid up with Covid for the last two weeks I have had plenty of time to think – in between episodes of brain fog.

This very act of thinking was a reminder in itself that I had omitted, in recent time, to ponder upon the big questions of life. I am talking about big thinking i.e blue sky brain stuff.

Of course I think. We all think.

We think about what to eat for dinner, what time to get up at so we are on time for working in the office, what to watch on TV or what to tell the neighbour the next time she/he knocks on the door and asks to borrow your Gin bottle, again. This is daily routine type thinking.

I am talking about the big questions in life.

I dragged out my list of things that I had been meaning to get through for the last two years. There was quite a lot that I had given up on. Some stuff that I had even forgotten about. It didn’t make me feel good about myself because there wasn’t a good enough reason for my omission.

Yes, life had got in the way. Yes, I have had personal upheavals and some were of monumental proportions. I am not a lazy person either and am constantly beavering away at something or other. Delving further into my psyche for a reason as to why I had given up on things I came up with ‘fear’.

Fear of failure has held me back

I had used ‘life’ as an excuse to not get stuck into my list. In midlife it is easy to become fearful. After half a lifetime of many disappointments, who wants more? But if we give up on taking on and embracing and trying new things, life becomes a never ending cycle of routine. There is no excitement in that.

So, what have you given up on and what are you going to do about it?