Word of warning. This post is going to be rather downbeat. November does that to me. It didn’t always.
Then midlife hit and the rolling of time got to me. November is a particular trigger because it is so close to the end of another year.
The sense of getting older is exaggerated by the passing of time in a whole chunk i.e 12 months. I get all panicky wondering whether I have done enough in the year to fulfil my ambitions, hopes and dreams. There is so much still which I want to do.
During the year I pontificate proudly about midlife wisdom but that confidence ebbs away the closer we draw to New Year’s Eve. The introspection begins in November when I run through my list drawn up at the start of the year. Eeks, so much left unticked.
The questions begin. Did I procrastinate? Was I aiming for perfection when to get something done was the key? Was I lazy? Was I just plain stupid, lazy and aiming for perfection?
As Oscar Wilde said:
My experience is that as soon as people are old enough to know better, they don’t know anything at all