I am in a touche mood. I read this article and fumed over the the results of a survey undertaken among millennials on what they view as being old. The energy retailer, Love Energy Savings, conducted the survey and discovered that ‘using cash to pay for things as well as tucking a handkerchief up your sleeve’ are the top two habits identified as age related actions.

How absolutely trite to be smeared by ageism based on habit.

Also, factually speaking, there are shops that will not accept card payments for purchases below £5. The cashless society is some way off but this seems to have passed the millennial radar.

Designing a list of traits or actions of what constitutes a stage in life is an easy as pie thing to do especially from a position of delusion. Stereotyping is the low hanging fruit of ageism. Delusion comes from a self adopted sense of arrogance that one will be young forever. I blame Dorian Gray.

On the other side of the coin, isn’t society fickle as hell? The nation celebrated Colonel Tom’s old age with great enthusiasm and the Queen is praised for having reached a grand old age but it seems that praise only extends to celebrities.

Millennials are now touching 40 which, in some definitions, is the threshold for being a midlifer. Yes, old age comes to us all if you are lucky enough to have lived thus far. In the current pandemic, it seems to be a privilege to be still alive regardless of what phase of life you are in. This is the big picture of life. So carry on tucking your hanky, using cash, getting your camera out to record a moment that will make memories and going to church (which I do).

Below are the top 20 things that millennials think make you old – what do you think?

1. Using cash – 28%

1. Putting a hankie up your sleeve – 28%

3. Getting bills through the post – 25%

4. Having posh cutlery for special occasions – 24%

5. Writing lists with pen and paper – 23%

5. Smoking – 23%

7. Describing a tune as ‘banging’ – 22%

7. Ringing for a taxi instead of using an app – 22%

9. Voting Leave – 20%

9. Watching actual TV – 20%

11. Still being on Facebook – 18%

11. Reading books – 18%

13. Going to church – 15%

13. Talking on the phone – 15%

15. Wearing skinny jeans – 14%

16. Using a camera – 13%

17. Dating in real life – 12%

18. Not having pronouns in your Instagram bio – 11%

19. Using a Satnav – 10%

20. Eating Dairy – 9%